Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Eureka and stuff

Yes I'm trying to find a job, it can be disheartening at times. But I'm not discouraged. After all, with people finding stuff everywhere this week, how difficult can a job be to find?

Yes, a veritable corncupoia of discovery took place this week, and it's not even Saturday yet!

Out in Idaho, researchers have found the fabled Prairie worm! Rumored to be three feet long, smell like lillies and spit when angry, some scientists dismissed it as frontier myth, while others pushed on stubbornly. Now the worm has been found! It's actually about twelve inches long, smells pretty much like other worms, and hasn't spit at anybody yet, but it is the Prairie worm. Environmental groups are already preparing papers to get the worm designated a threatened species. Though not the length of a yard stick exactly, researchers claim it's still the biggest worm in the entire US, aside from Woody Allen of course.

And in Turkey, a Hong Kong based Christian group has announced the discovery of Noah's Ark. Well, that's clumsy story cycle management, announcing Tuesday. Friday morning is one's best bet with material like that. 24/7 news programmers are always starving for weekend stories, tough to line up skeptics on the weekend, so your narrative pretty much gets repeated unchallenged for three days. But clumsy story management has no bearing on the story's veracity; the Ark discovery story is fake on its own merits. Yep, the beautiful photos look way too much like a movie set. Come to think of it, that'd have been much better plot for the final Indiana Jones film, "Raiders of the OTHER lost Ark." Whatever goes on there, "Hong Kong based Christian group" is real, and much more lovely than a boat on a mountain. Two thousand years ago a Jewish carpenter promised not earthly prosperity, but a peaceful heart, and the message still grows like Kudzu anywhere it's given a fair hearing.

OK David, but giant (not so giant really) worms and Biblical boats, that's targeted search result stuff. Don't you have anything found by people who WEREN'T looking? I'm glad you asked.

In Switzerland, more than a hundred crematory urns have been found at the bottom of a lake, by Search & Resuce divers who were looking for a piece that fell off their boat. These appear to be remains of visitors to the Swiss assisted suicide clinic, and boy is the Swiss government ticked off! Turns out it's quite legal to operate a 'suicide tourism' spot, but chunking ash filled urns into a lake is a serious felony. I'm not going to wade into assisted suicide; I've my own opinions. Instead I'll just observe that folks who make money by helping others end their lives probably shouldn't be expected to show a lot of reverence for customers' remains.

So if people are finding stuff all over the place, I've a fair shot at finding a job, I should think.