Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fond farewells

And now for a masterful take on this week's top news... but what to pick on?

Well, Monday I read a story with the headline, "Investors encouraged by November rise in house prices."
Then on Tuesday came the headline, "Markets uneasy on December drop in house sales."
Certainly I'm not the last remaining human who sees a corelation between these two statistics?

...Naw, I'm not gonna write about that.

President made some sort of speech last evening, or so I hear. Me, I was upstairs watching "My Son John" a delightful obscurity from the Cold War. Not that I'm apathetic about the President, but you don't get to watch "My Son John" every day! I'll admit; compared to "Manchurian Candidate" little MSJ doesn't shine much, but I like it. Family drama, where John's true blue American parents face growing awareness their son is a Soviet spy.

The suspense in "My Son John" is SUPPOSED to be, will the FBI agent catch John? Will John repent his Commie ways before it's too late? I've never been able to get interested in that part though. I quickly get spellbound by this instead: How many euphemisms for "menopause" DID they have back in the 1950's???

You think I exaggerate for comedic effect, but NO WAY JOSE! No kidding, very first part of the film, local Doctor shows up at John's parents' house, totally unbidden, to give Mrs. Jefferson a HUGE bottle of pills! He says the pills are good for women "her age" going through "all these things." Doc even cautions her he's got two patients "in her circumstances" in a sanitarium right now.

Menopause is in fact a plot vehicle in MSJ. At one point, Mom has hot flash, opens kitchen window, accidentally hears something. Near the end of the film, Mom is threatening John, she'll inform if he doesn't turn himself in. Confident evil John assures Mom nobody will believe her, not "in her state" and counter-threatens to put her in a sanitarium. Just think of that? At one time in this great land there must've been vast warehouses chock full of menopausal women!

Oh heck, wait a minute! I'm 'sposed to be writing about current events, and MSJ was made in the early 1950's. Dang it, my bad!

All right then, Pernell Roberts passed away this week. First, I'll say far as I know, he's only human being ever named "Pernell." He was on a very interesting TV show back in the 1960's called "Bonanza." It was the rousing saga of three 40yo men living with their 50yo "Pa." One thing about that show is any woman who fell in love with a Cartwright, she was dead before the last round of Chevy commercials. No kidding, there must've been girl graves scattered all over the Ponderosa. Pernell eventually left the show, presumably in search of babes who the Grim Reaper DIDN'T have on speed dial.

He came back around with another hit show in the 1980's. It was "Trapper John, MD" where he went around dispensing narcotics to menopausal women... Oh, cut it out Dave!

So Pernell passed away this week. While he's being laid to rest, I hope we can dispense with a few drastically over-used words/terms...

"Game changer." Everything in Washington DC is a game changer now. Special election in MA was a "game changer." Presidential aids hope State of Union speech will be a "game changer." And if it (whatever "it" is)turns out not to be a "game changer" then it's quickly thrown "under the bus."

Yes, "Under the Bus." There's never anything or anybody thrown "off the ship" or "over the wall" or "from the bridge." Nope, it's just Under the bus Under the bus Under the bus! Apparently there are diesel fueled mass transit vehicles somewhere with an insatiable desire to crush darn near anything beneath their merciless wheels.

I assume Pernell Roberts was a nice guy, but since he's being laid to rest anyways, perhaps we could shuffle some trite cliches into an adjacent plot?

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