Your Dang Old Relatives

"There are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
Billy Bob Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I

Have always taken that line to mean it's a very big world. Don't go around thinking you have everything figured out. There are ravens who make tools and demonstrate rudimentary understanding of hydraulics. There are giant worms. There are backwards green coments, and there is Phineas Gage. So don't be copping an attitude Horatio!

So if anybody ever wants to tell me a ghost story, I'll listen. After all, I know what Charles Frohman's last recorded words were, and I know where he was last seen.

That said, I totally reject the concept of a haunted graveyard. Don't the mystics claim that spirits wander around, unaware of their deadness? Therefore, why hang around a cemetery? I can only surmise, if there IS a haunted graveyard, the ghost is a former grave digger who doesn't realize a co-worker "filled in" for him on a particular day in the past.

Me, I don't have much grief from my dead relatives; it's the living ones who annoy the beans out of me.

Stupid criminality is just a hard thing for me to respect. If you're going to engage in a crime, figure what you have to gain and what you stand to lose.

Too often in life I've measured things by smart or stupid, when I should've went with right or wrong. I have relatives who apparently do neither.

But there is this thing? Drove past local funeral home today, on my way to get "His Girl Friday" to watch this evening. It's a REALLY good film. That rolltop desk was SO robbed of a supporting actor Oscar nomination.

Parking lot at the funeral home was packed. Somebody is dead, some will have every Christmas season from now on imprinted with this event.

I know people I wish I wasn't related to, people I wish didn't behave as they did, but I'll miss them when they're gone.

Now if I come back as a ghost, where would I haunt? Definitely some Las Vegas casino I'm pretty sure. Lots of fun with the security detail.