Sunday, July 4, 2010

Utterly Stupid Utterances

My preference is to address actual events, rather than talk about people talking. There's too much of that goes on already, my opinion. It's not journalism; it's gossip columnist stuff. Yet sometimes... things get said by public figures that rise to the level of legit news.

Mel Gibson in a phone call with his estranged fortune cookie gal said...
'You go around dressed like a slut. It's all your fault if you get raped by a gang of African Americans.'

Now, I didn't quote exactly on that last part. The whole thing would be much more amusing had Mel said 'African Americans.' Then he could go around saying, "What, what? I used the proper term!" But instead, Mel used the most radioactivist world in our whole dang culture! Wonder what's gonna happen now... he'll probably lose his radio show. No wait, that's Don Imus. So I guess what happens to Mel is not a whole lot really. He's been almost exclusively Producer/Director for years now, and one can maintain a low public profile in that role.

Mel's next project I believe, is to be a Viking epic. And true to his recent schtick, the film is planned in original Nordic language, with subtitles. So it's to be stuff like... "Odindammit Sven! Ja dropped da sword in da fjord!"

Oh, he might put out some press release regretting his poorly chosen words in a heated argument, but I don't see Mel calling on Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton for tag team humiliation therapy and absolution. Could be wrong, but that doesn't sound like Mel's style. And while we're on that topic?

Who decided that Jesse & Al are the spokesmen for tens of millions of Americans who just happen to be dark skinned? You're treating a very diverse group of people like infants by presuming any two people speak for their aspirations and values.

But back to Mel? You're a smart guy Mr. Gibson, so I expect you to fathom my simple advice. Either stay off the booze or stay off the phone, OK?

And I wish Mel Gibson was the only braying jackass of the week, but there's this Michael Steele guy? For those of you who have, you know, actual lives? Michael Steele is chairman of the Republican National Committee. I don't blame you for not knowing that. Mr. Steele made a speech this week, press not allowed. But you know these dang cellphones...

Michael said something like, "We have to keep it out there, Obama started this war in Afghanistan"
... and it just got dumber after that. Now see? I wish no harm on any person, but? I KNOW why I lost my job, but I can't figure out why Michael Steele still has his job!
I'm going to stop short of saying Mr. Steele is an affirmative action beneficiary. He's personable enough, and quite articulate. Every time he says something stupid, his pronunciation is flawless.

But again? If the GOP insists on having a black spokesman, surely we can find somebody a little more grounded in reality? There are lots of smart black people! You take that George Washington Carver for instance? Invented peanut butter. I'd have starved in elementary school, if not for GW Carver. OK, that was a trifle hyperbolic there. I'd have been stuck with jelly sandwiches in my 'Man from Uncle' lunchbox. And a jelly sandwich, it soaks the bread after a few hours, so it's a big soggy mess. PB & J on the other hand, is a delightful combination. Much as I admire George Washington Carver, I wonder about the events surrounding the first date between Peanut butter and grape jelly. Did he invent that too? Someone should make a movie about that.

Dang! I got off track again. So anyways? I know the GOP is trying to show a welcome mat by having Michael Steele as RNC Chairman, but the reverse of desired outcome is delivered. It looks like the GOP found the dumbest black guy in the entire US. Well, except for Dennis Rodman of course...