Saturday, July 17, 2010

Eyes on the Spies

Yep, somebody's actually making a movie about the John Edwards mess. Hey, maybe they can get Mel Gibson to star in it! Might as well; can't imagine who in the world would go see a John Edwards movie... well except for John of course.

Aside from the tawdry elements, the John Edwards implosion is essentially a classic espionage op gone awry. And it went south for same reasons spy rings often fail. Lower level operatives start feeling increasingly expendable, begin building lifeboats, things reach critical mass and chain reaction happens. Now John Edwards feels about as welcome as a New Orleans banjo picker.

Been a lot of spies in the news lately though. This little gang recently rounded up in New York City for example? From what I know, they'd been mostly schlepping around nite clubs, trying their hands at various businesses, romances, and FBI caught the pretty one at an NYC coffee shop. Really, the whole thing sounds like the 'Friends' TV show to me. FBI claims to have been fully aware of the group for years, well for about as long as 'Friends' was on the air actually. So I don't think anybody in that spy ring ever made KGB employee of the month. Impossible to say reasons for timing of the roundup. Could be domestic politics, or we needed to make a trade with Putin; we'll probably never know for sure.

Kendall & Gwendolyn Myers though, that's a lot more interesting. Homegrown spies are always more interesting. Great grandson of Alexander Graham Bell, grandson of man who built National Geographic to household word it is now. Kendall has PhD from John Hopkins; a college that wouldn't let me run a floor buffer. All those advantages, and he used them to spy for Cuba; weird.

All homegrown spies share one thing in common. Some may spout ideology, but without exception each has a personality that somehow feels embittered and disenfranchised from his culture. Cambridge 5 group was good example there. By age 25, they'd all enjoyed all the privileges Britain could offer, and were ruthless spies for Russia. Maclean for example was so eager to betray his homeland, KGB took unusual step of recruiting him off the bat as what's called 'straight penetration operative.'

Oddly ironic term, since Maclean was bi-sexual. Maybe he was a part-time employee, I dunno. And that's another thing? Closeted homosexuals make GREAT spies! They're already practiced at leading double lives, so what's another gonna hurt?

So tell us all Mr. David, who was the best spy ever, homegrown or otherwise? Well, obviously the one we've never heard of. But Klaus Fuchs was most devestating. He's the Los Alamos guy who gave USSR and China the A-bomb secrets.

Ineffective but worth mentioning: Sam Dickstein was US Congressman on USSR payroll. Now cut that out! No, I don't know what Sam's sexual orientation was!

Here's an allegedly interesting one: William Dodd, Ambassador to Germany just before WW2? His daughter Martha was a dedicated Soviet agent for twenty years. Yep, another anti-capitalist millionaire. Her NKVD code name was 'Liza.' Yeah, I wish it'd been Rachel or Pheobe too, but can't have everything. I will say this though, she sure wasn't a homosexual. According to historians, I'm surprised she found anytime for espionage really.

Yeah, Martha was a 'straight penetration operative' too all right? Happy now? Cut it out will ya, I'm trying to run a family blog here!

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