Tuesday, November 3, 2009

For Pete's sake

It happened again last night. I fell asleep watching a documentary. When I woke up four hours later, Peter Fonda was trying to sell me CD's. No, it wasn't a dream. My dreams are more logical than that.

He was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. The set was like a living room; sofa, coffee table, stuff like that. Except over on the left there was a motorcycle. For those who don't have motorcycles in their living room, let me explain?

I believe the motorcycle was there to remind aging insomniacs that Pete was once in a movie called "Easy Rider." That's a 60's movie, featuring ninety minutes of two guys riding motorcycles, and then they get killed. But it had a great soundtrack, and perhaps that's how Peter got invovled in the CD project.

He started off saying something like, "The sixties were a time when old ways of thinking didn't work anymore, and so a new music was needed to express the energy of a new generation."

I wish Peter would've gone into that whole thing in more detail. Given my elementary school perspective on the 1960's I think "old ways of thinking" includes personal responsibility and common sense, so I'd sure like to hear what an expert like Pete says on that, but instead he cut right to the clips.

There was Jefferson Airplane with Grace Slick glaring at me malevolently, "Don't you want somebody to love?"
And then the Zombies, "It's the time of the sea-ea-son for lo-ove."
Then the Byrds sang, "Turn turn turn" for three seconds, followed I think by Steppenwolf being "Born to be Wild" for three seconds... then I either found the remote or went back to sleep, I'm not quite certain.

It's likely I fell back to sleep, since I seem to recall dreaming that Billie Joe jumped off the Tallahatchie bridge, but that could be a coincidence.

None of this would matter much, except it's time for my generation to shoulder our responsibility. We must decide who'll be selling us late night infomercial 80's music CD's about 15 years from now.

This is a matter of critical importance, because it involves me. Unless God has other plans, I'm going to be falling asleep watching documentaries 15 years from now. I don't want to wake up several hours later to Boy George selling me CD's all right?

I believe in the wisdom of my generation (why did my nose just grow two inches?) and I'm willing to leave this crucial decision to a plebiscite. That's the same thing as an election, except dead folks don't get to vote.

Personally, I'd prefer Cyndi Lauper, or whichever of those Bangles chicks ages most gracefully, but I'm open minded. Matthew Broderick, Emilio Estevez, whatever. I won't even mention Ally Sheedy Ally Sheedy Ally Sheedy Ally Sheedy.

Just don't inflict Boy George on me in my insomniac golden years, PLEASE my fellow members of the idiot generation?

None of this is meant to say I don't feel compassion towards Peter Fonda, and his campaign to sell me 60's CD's. He's in his mid-sixties, and part of that Hollywood bunch. Of course that means he has little ones who need braces, and everyone knows how expensive that stuff is!

I care whether Pete's third grader grows up with crooked teeth. I'd have bought the CD's except my discretionary compassion income is tied up at the moment, in making sure local food pantry is stocked in advance of Thanksgiving.

Peter should sell the motorcycle, that's what I think. Bet his wife is tired of vacuuming around it anyway.

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