Saturday, September 4, 2010

Stupid David News!!!

Loyal readers? It's seldom I can rise to the levels of incompetence regularly displayed by our elected officials, but?

Yesterday afternoon I became newsworthy (against my will) and it's my journalistic duty to report. Fourth estate and all that jazz, y'know?

So there I was Friday afternoon. I'm a temp Engineer you see; I get my paycheck from the temp agency, which happens each Thursday afternoon. Well I waited around on Thursday about thirty minutes after I clocked out... no people with checks arrived.

I went home. Friday, I awoke with a renewed vigor, and a burning desire to actually get a paycheck. I'm Quixotic like that at times.

So, and here's the good part? I waited around thirty-five minutes on Friday, and got a check. Thought to meself, 'This is all right, can do this mission. Have a deposit slip, can make it to the bank before closing. It's only an hour drive.'

It is "usually" an hour drive, but the word 'usual' is vastly misused, my opinon!

I'm driving home, and halfway there I enter into a long skinny parking lot, even though speed limit signs clearly read 70mph. Turns out it was all for a roadside grass fire, and you have to address that kind of thing, because after the grass starts burning, it might catch the Kudzu on fire.

I'm not going to make it to the bank before closing. Oh well, stop at a covenience store for a six pack on the way home, resigned to engaging my backup plan with cheerful spirit...

Hey, that's interesting! I don't have my debit card! Sorry Mr. Clerk person of ambiguous sexual orientation, must've left it back at where I put gas in the car. Backing out of convenience store, came within an inch (actually more like .25 inches honestly) getting plowed into by large SUV. Jumped out of car, told very shaken lady, no harm no foul, God bless you.

Made it home in time to cancel my debit card, hopefully before anybody used it to buy widescreen plasma TV off E-bay. Guess we'll find out soon, huh?

I'm not supposed to be newsworthy. A large part of my entire adult life has been devoted to NEVER being involved in anything worth telling. Sigh... I blew that on Friday afternoon! But I will not let these events break my commitment to be really really boring.

In fact? Right now, I'm even starting to bore myself! How's that for success?

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